Top 4 Criminally Stupid Acts
By Dan Gesslein
We all know that if criminals weren't dumb they wouldn't get caught. But some crimes are so dumb you wonder how these criminal masterminds thought they would get away with it.
1. Striking the (Grand)MotherLoad.
If you are going to risk being seen on surveillance video committing a home invasion in a highly populated building during the holidays make sure it's worth it.
A trio of robbers conned their way into an 83-year-old woman's apartment by claiming to have a delivery for her.
They tied up the elderly woman with duct tape and searched for the treasure they thought the woman had stashed away. No this wasn't a doorman building on the Upper West Side where riches would surely be behind every apartment door. This was in a run down apartment building in the Tremont section of the Bronx.
The criminal masterminds made off with a whopping $5.
Honorable mention goes to another group of super villains who mugged a teenager for food stamps. These geniuses did not seem to care that the food stamps were on an EBT card with the victim’s parent’s name and could be easily tracked.
2. The Tax Man Cometh
The only constants are death and taxes, so the old saying goes. Hollywood is littered with former A-listers who now star in any flaming turd to pay their tax bill because they thought they could cheat Uncle Sam. We're looking at you Nicholas Cage.
The owners of 3 Bronx steak houses allegedly thought they could slide one past the tax man. According to officials the owners collected 100,000 in taxes on sales in their restaurants but failed to pay the tax man.
The owners were charged with tax evasion.
3. Sheer Stupidity
Hey armed robbers need to look their best too. But don't rob your barber especially if you have a distinctive look.
A Bronx man with a drooping eye sat down for a haircut inside a Westchester Avenue barbershop.
After getting a trim the man pulled out a gun as he and his accomplices proceeded to rob the other customers, before fleeing down the street with the shop's cash register.
Cops were able to identify the suspect from the barbers' description and from the shop's surveillance video.
Guess he should have worried about wearing a disguise rather than sitting down for a trim.
4. Crime of Fashion
When you want to rob a bank the best thing to do is to keep a low profile. Wear something low key as to not draw attention to yourself. The last thing you want to do is look as if you were posing for a fashion catalog.
One man took a wrong turn in the Bay Plaza Mall and looked like he was heading for the Sean John department at Macy's. He was dressed with a luxuriously looking scarf and high-end shades and pea coat.
Instead the man was seen on surveillance video inside the Chase Bank passing the teller a note demanding cash. However, cops said he fled the bank without the cash.
Guess he couldn't go clothes shopping with his haul.
Honorable mention goes to the academic geniuses who decided to assault an NYPD lieutenant during a protest on the Brooklyn Bridge. Not only did one of the assailants, who turned to be a graduate student at Columbia, looked like she was posing for the Neiman Marcus winter catalog but she also failed to cover her face. She did not seem to care that when she hit the cop she was on the Brooklyn Bridge, which given the fact that is a huge potential terror target AND is near Police HQ there were a slew of cameras documenting the attack.
Guess she needs to go back to fashion school because she certainly isn’t a grad from the School of Hard Knocks.